The Kush Kush Tales!
by mei-yasasame
Summary: A bunch of collaborated stories, some romance some humor about the characters in Hamtaro. so cute!
1. Hamtaro gets clueless

HAMTARO

HAMTARO! The Kush Kush Tails! Haha get it! Tales. Tails! Haha, yeah I know, bad joke. This one is HamtaroxBijou. Unanswered questions in this chapter will be answered in following chapters. Please review and comment on anything you like! Tell me which couple I should pair up next! Or just a random pair that random things happen to!

Our story starts out with Hamtaro dancing in the middle of a wide open field.

Bijou: Um…Hamtaro, what are you doing?

Hamtaro: Oh, hi Bijou I was just dancing.

Bijou: I can see that…why?

Hamtaro: A rat came up to me and called me a tailless freak.

Bijou: This explains nothing.

Hamtaro: Then they threw me in a dumpster.

Bijou: (tear drop) ummm, still explains nothing.

Hamtaro: So I went to Boss and he said there was this ancient way to grow a tail but there's a specific dance for it. So I'm just trying out this dance to see if it works.

Bijou: Wow, you're really that gullible?

Hamtaro: Heke?

Bijou: Well, I was going to ask you if you wanted to come over to my house for some cookies!

Hamtaro: Um, sure! But can I bring a friend along?

Bijou: Actually, I was wondering if it could be just the two of us (eyes glow with anticipation)

Hamtaro: Oh, I get it! (wink wink nudge nudge) you want to host a party and let me be your co host! That's a great idea Bijou! You're the greatest hamster ever! Bijou?

Bijou: (floats away into cloud of nothingness)

LATER THAT DAY! Teehee

Boss: Hey Bijou! Awesome party!

Bijou: (sigh) yeah.

Boss: what's bothering you BB?

Bijou: This was suppose to be a me and Hamtaro thing but…

Boss: Yeah, he's as dumb as a lump of grass and social as a butterfly, I get it.

Bijou: Yeah

Boss: Well, if it doesn't work out between you two, maybe you and me could…

Bijou: (glare) I'll pretend that didn't happen and I won't karate chop you into dust.

Boss: Fine.

Boss goes to fin some more ladies to impress while Bijou sits at a table alone again. Bijou immediately spots Hamtaro in the crowd. The adorable way he rubs his hands on his head made Bijou blush uncontrollably as he says: Kush kush. Oxnard goes up to Hamtaro and notices Bijou sitting in the corner.

Oxnard: Hey Hamtaro.

Hamtaro: Hm?

Oxnard: I don't think Bijou is feeling well, she looks sad.

Hamtaro: I'd better talk to her.

Bijou notices Hamtaro coming over. She fixes her hair and tries to smile.

Bijou: Oh hello Hamtaro!

Hamtaro: Hi Bijou! Oxnard says you're not feeling well. Are you sick?

At that moment Hamtaro puts his hand on Bijou's forehead and her temperature rises from the heat of the moment.

Hamtaro: Oh, you do feel kind of hot! Maybe I should take you to the ham ham hospital?

Bijou: No I'm fine it's just that…

Hamtaro: Oh! I love this song! Do you want to dance?

Bijou: Of course!

Hamtaro, innocent as ever, started to dance like an insane fruit loop, but Bijou didn't mind. She thought it was so sweet and adorable. She didn't even notice Stan slip on a banana peel or Oxnard fall in the punch bowl. Her eyes sparkled watching Hamtaro dance, until he grabbed her hand and started spinning around with her.

Hamtaro: See? Isn't this fun?!

Bijou felt like throwing up but having her hand connected to his hand made everything seemed to go away.

Hamtaro: Bijou you look kind of green. Are you sure you're not sick?

Hamtaro stopped spinning her and Bijou fell on the floor from dizziness.

It was getting late and he figured that he should probably get back to his owner.

Hamtaro: Hey Bijou, I'd better go, but I'll see you tomorrow! BYE EVRYONE!

Everyone: Bye Hamtaro!

Bijou: Bye Hamtaro!

Hamtaro kushed his head one more time, then he scampered off. Bijou admired him one last time and decided to end the party before it got out of hand. That's when she noticed the death trap that had occurred.


	2. Oxnard gets jealous

This happens on the same day

This happens on the same day. All of my chapters overlap each other. Thank you for your patience in reading this rambling. OxnardxPepper

Stan was sitting in the corner going insane.

Stan: How could this be happening?! I'm the hottest ham around! The ladies should be begging to join me on a relaxing picnic in the moonlight.

Unfortunately he was completely and utterly alone. Ha, what a loner!

Stan: You are so mean to my emotions!

Hehe, well anyways, Pepper was rolling down the countryside to visit Oxnard, waiting to hear one of his funny jokes and see his wonderful smile again. Then she saw Stan and felt his pain and walked over to him.

Pepper: You look sad. Is something wrong?

Stan: Nah, it's cool.

Pepper: Are you sure I can't help you with anything at all?

Stan perked up a little bit. Oh yeah, a chick was totally all over him.

Stan: Well, I was planning a moonlit picnic if you want to go!

Pepper: Tonight?

Stan: Yup! Can you make it?!

His eyes glittered with hope and dreams. Pepper hated to crush anyone's dreams. But tonight her and Oxnard were going to count his acorn collection. Then again…

Pepper: I'll try!

Stan: All right!

He rode off on his skateboard in a dreamy daze.

Stan: See you tonight then!

Pepper walked away confused and regretful. When she saw Oxnard her heart sank. Oxnard wasn't exactly the romantic type. He was funny, and nice, and good to hang around with, but he just didn't give her that warm and fuzzy feeling because he never told her how much he loved her. She was the only one who said it. Oxnard looked over at her and pondered.

Oxnard: Hey, are you okay. You seem kind of off.

Pepper: Oh, no it's nothing. Let's hurry up and count those acorns all right!

Oxnard suspected something but he didn't care as long as he was with her. During that time, Oxnard made Pepper laugh with his hilarious jokes and screw-ups in his life. Just when Pepper thought things could really be good between them, Oxnard fell asleep. Pepper decided she could see Stan for a little while. Stan was out on a hill with candles and a sunflower seed pie, her favorite! While Pepper devoured the pie, Stan played the guitar. Pepper seemed soothed but was really falling asleep. In Pepper's mind she was thinking Stan was a nice guy but Oxnard and her had more in common. She finally lost consciousness and fell asleep on the blanket.

Stan: Score! I totally got the girls hitting on me!

He pet her long brown braids that fell across her face. Could this be love?! Um, no.

Oxnard woke up and looked around for Pepper. He went outside and called her name, but nothing happened. He searched the fields and saw her in the arms of Stan on his skateboard. Oxnard tried to run angrily and beat Stan up, but his innocence and his clumsiness, did not allow him to. Meaning, he tripped and fell on his face and lost sight of them when he got up. Pepper was still asleep when Stan dropped her off in front of her house. When she woke up she saw Oxnard mad and dazed coming towards her. She waved, but he didn't respond. Pepper pouted that cute little pout that Oxnard couldn't resist. Finally, Oxnard waved back. Oxnard rubbed his hands on his head saying 'kush kush' and led Pepper to the guest room. Oxnard retired to his own room for the night still wondering if Pepper still loved him. In the morning they had waffles with sunflower paste and acorn pancakes. Pepper tried to make the first bit of conversation.

Pepper: You know what!? I just heard from Hamtaro that Bijou is having a party today! Wouldn't that be fun! Do you want to go with me? If that's OK with you.

Oxnard: Actually that would be great!

Pepper was overjoyed. That same day at the party, she was sitting at one of the tables. She saw Bijou sitting alone at a table and wanted to get up and see if she was OK but then she saw Hamtaro walk over and thought she shouldn't interfere. She got up and saw Stan walking over to her. She stayed surprisingly calm. After all, he was just a friend.

Stan: Hey Pepper! That was pretty awesome last night!

Pepper: I guess so…

Stan: So you probably want to ask me out or something but I'm a very charming guy and I move on pretty quickly so-

Pepper: Heke? Um, I have a boyfriend already and his name is Oxnard.

Stan: WHAAAAAT?!

Hearing his name Oxnard walked over to them suspiciously.

Oxnard: YOU! (pointing to Stan)

Stan: Um, I had no idea she was YOUR GIRLFRIEND!

Oxnard narrowed his eyes at him and pointed at the monkey in the corner.

Oxnard: So you're as innocent as that monkey in the corner?! You think I didn't see you with Pepper in your arms last night?!

Monkey: (drops banana and walks away) Savages…

Pepper: I was in his arms?

Stan: Woah man, this is just a big misunderstanding! (backs away slowly)

Then Stan accidentally slipped on the banana peel left by the 'innocent' monkey, and accidentally fell on Oxnard who in turn fell into the punch bowl. Stan was sweating like crazy. He thought he'd better go before things got REALLY bad. All of a sudden a piercing scream could be heard and the lights went out. Now was his time to escape. He left the party without leaving a trace. Until his sister Sandy stopped him…


	3. Pashmina gets tricky

Pashmina stood by the creek with Penelope

Author's note: I need to know if my script format is any good. If it bothers you or you don't like it please tell me so I can change it.

Pashmina stood by the creek with Penelope. She looked around and sighed. Penelope stared at her worriedly.

Penelope: Ookwee?

Pashmina: No, no nothing's wrong

Penelope: -raises eyebrow-

Pashmina: Don't give me that look…

Penelope: Ookwee ookwee…ookwee.

Pashmina: I guess that makes sense…

Penelope: Ookwee.

Pashmina: Woah, there's no need for name-calling, thank you very much.

Penelope: Ookwee.

Pashmina: O.K, so besides you, no one has talked to me all day!

Penelope: Ooooookwee?

Pashmina: Well, Hamtaro did to invite me to Bijou's party tonight, but that doesn't count…I mean…does it?

Penelope: …

Pashmina: You're right I _am_ pathetic.

Penelope: ookwee ookwee?

Pashmina: Of course I'm going. I need to be adored by everyone there!

Penelope: -rolls eyes-

Pashmina: I'm just saying, Howdy and Dexter haven't talked to me since yesterday! They're usually at my door with cookies and sunflower seeds!

Penelope: Ookwee.

Pashmina: Spy? I like the way you think! But crawling around on the floor might get dirt on my pretty pink scarf! Can you do it?

Penelope: Ookwee OOKWEE!

Pashmina: Well, sorry. I thought you might want to do something for me!

Penelope: Ookwee.

Pashmina: Fine, we'll do it together.

Later that day, Pashmina and Penelope saw Howdy sweeping outside of his shop. He appeared to be talking to somebody. Penelope had changed her yellow dress to a black one. She looked over at Pashmina wearing her pink scarf as usual.

Penelope: Ookweeee!

Pashmina: I know! But black isn't the new black and pink is just so my color!

Penelope: -shakes head-

Howdy laughed in the background and Dexter could be seen bringing out tea and crumpets. Pashmina stared in disbelief.

Pashmina: HEKE? I don't believe it! They decide to settle their differences now?

Penelope: Ookwee.

Pashmina: You're right. I've never noticed it but I need Howdy and Dexter's passion and affection to make me feel important and beautiful in society and as a ham ham.

Penelope: Ookwee. -shakes head in agreement-

Pashmina: Wait they're saying something!

Howdy: I sure am glad that we're not fighting that ridiculous war anymore!

Dexter: Yes, we settled our differences in a mature and adult manner.

Howdy: Ya know, I never really noticed this, but when we're not fighting over Pashmina's attention we can actually get along pretty well!

Dexter: Well said friend!

Pashmina: -spirals into mental depression-

Penelope: -slaps- ookwee!

Pashmina: What do you mean 'get it together' I'm totally together. I…I…I'm a loser –sob sob- the people who cared about me most have abandoned me and now I'm a lonely princess floating in a sea of depression!

Penelope: AHEM! Ookwee!

Pashmina: Oh, well not everyone.

Penelope: Ookwee?

Pashmina: -floats away into her own little world-

Penelope: -sigh- ookwee ookwee ookwee ookwee ookwee. Ookwee ookwee ookwee.

Pashmina: Hey, that's not a bad idea! Fake my own kidnapping then they'll come save me, that's the perfect way to get everybody's attention! And I know just the place to do it!

Pashmina and Penelope sneaked into Bijou's house and prepared the trap door where Pashmina would escape. During the party, Pashmina eyed the movements of everybody while standing next to the trap door waiting for the perfect moment to make her big disappearance. She saw Howdy and Dexter talking in the corner, not even paying attention to her. This made her really mad and she began to turn bright red.

Cappy: Pashmina? Are you okay?

Pashmina turned her head slowly revealing a quite terrifying angry face.

Cappy: AAAHHHH! Scary ham! AAAHHHH!

Pashmina waited for Penelope to cut the lights for a few seconds so she could make her dramatic scene. Penelope climbed on top of the roof of bijou's mansion and her yellow dress with sparkles for the occasion fluttered in the wind. She saw the main power cable. She walked towards it and examined it carefully. Pulling the wrong cord could cost everyone their lives. The main power cable had to be red, since they usually were red. She carefully pulled the plug hoping she was right. She see the lights go out in the house and felt a sigh of relief. Pashmina got ready for her big scene. She let out a cold-blooded scream that pierced the air like a dart in a balloon. Everyone in the room felt chills as no one saw Pashmina fall down the trap door and leave her scarf behind. After Penelope thought the whole charade was over, she turned the lights back on. Howdy and Dexter hurried over to where everyone had gathered. They stared at the pink ribbon scarf that lay on the floor. Pashmina was nowhere to be seen. Penelope hurried off the roof only to bump into Sandy and Stan who were arguing outside. They both looked at her.

Sandy: Penelope? What are you doing?

Penelope: Ookwee…

Pashmina scurried out from under the house and walked towards Penelope only to be tackled by Sandy.

Sandy: Pashmina? What's going on here? Did you have something to do with the lights going out?

Pashmina: Uhhhhh…

Howdy and Dexter could be seen running towards Pashmina.

Both of them: PASHMINAAAA!

Pashmina turned towards the two and smiled. Then she remembered she was supposed to be a victim of a tragedy and started to cry.

Howdy: What happened to you gorgeous?

Pashmina: Oh, it was terrible! It was dark and scary. I don't want to talk about it.

Dexter: I brought your scarf back!

Howdy: No! I picked it up from the ground first. You took it from me!

Dexter: Well, you were being careless.

Pashmina smiled at her handiwork. The arguing was music to her ears.


End file.
